17 July 2013
Wednesday
10:00 AM
Its
the small but obvious invisible little things that bring Life to life
Lying here in bed,
which doubles as my study, business office, partial bathroom, dining
area, and in general the place where I spend the predominance of my
life anymore, I was idly thinking over local events and the
similarities to my former life in the vertical world. I recognize
that several of the CENA's here actually do like me. I can tell by
the extras that can be seen in their communication. Most people don't
realize there is more to communication than mere words. In fact those
who study such things have found that using words only offers 22% of
the activity of personal communication. Yep, less than one quarter of
what we put out there is the stuff of dictionaries, our old high
school English classes, all of those papers we had to produce, and
the dreaded proper punctuation and approved written language formats
we were continually cautioned to adhere to. Most of that was
situational, driven by people who drew their paycheck by trying to
enforce such restrictive styles on us. In many ways, they were
successful – situationally.
In real life, that
which we could hardly wait for, between classes in the hallway – we
could relax talk with our friends, use slang to describe things,
crack jokes, spread gossip, in short be real people, which we seemed
to do natively without taking an assigned seat, raising one's hand
and waiting (forever sometimes) to be acknowledged AND indoctrinated
with those lifeless facts. Some people were always known for being
able to always be there, bringing themselves more fully into the
present and thus swaying others to interact with them. Sometimes this
might even occur during class time, which usually didn't make them
too very positive in the teacher's eyes.
When I was in
college, while working on my Bachelors degree, I took an elective
creative writing class. It was not related to any of the other
classes as far as a declared major or minor was concerned. I was
attracted by the title creative
writing that attracted me so
much. The first thing the instructor said was that we hadn't
ever really learned to write truly as people actually are when they
are being themselves, No we had been taught to use proper English as
it is literally used, but very few people speak that way, what we had
inadvertently learned was Engfish.
Engfish,
we were told, was a pseudo language that we learned for the purpose
of writing papers to influence our teachers that we knew more than
we actually did, and thereby get a better grade.
“It's insulting
!” he bellowed in mock anger. “To your instructors it smacks of
sucking up, much like a preadolescent speaking in the manner and stye
of a Nobel Prize Winner while chewing gum and throwing in a few “ya
knows' to move his presentation along. It speaks loudly of
insincerity he sniffed while mocking disappointment.
The bulk of the
intent of the class content was summed up in that
demonstration/statement. Actors are better communicators than
anyone, because they put everything into it. Tone of voice, pacing,
inflection, accent, facial expression, filling the space with the
whole of the body, gestures, coordinating all of this to come
together in a complete package to deliver the entire message so there
is no mistaking the content when it is delivered this way. If we had
to continually add what we believed the content should be, or make
accommodations for the actors, that minor bit of audience input
separates us from losing ourselves to the story being presented.
Even a person
delivering facts with none of the extra additions of fully being
present comes across wooden and without presence, Al Gore is a good
example here. Al seems to be a nice guy and he certainly knows his
material, but coming close to the Pied Piper of Hamlin might be a
stretch. If you want to convey and convince people there has to be a
sense of someone there. Not very many people warm up to an
encyclopedia or a text book very well.
Back to the
CENA's; last night, just before the end of the second shift, one of
the CENA staff who has taken care of me on several occasions, stopped
by just before she was due off the floor. Every day as the CENA's
come on to work and due to the fluctuating nature of the number of
residents they have to work with, they divide the rooms (and thus the
residents they will work with) so that the work load is not so
lopsided. She had a few moments and every one was under control, so
she stopped in to say hello, that she had seen me when I was up in
the wheelchair earlier that day but she wasn't working with my part
of the hallway so she couldn't stop to visit with me. She was really
animated as she talked to me. She was concerned that I didn't feel
that she was ignoring me. I assured her that I never considered that
at all. At that point I realized that the were several CENA's who
also could be standing in the same spot next to my bed saying exactly
the same thing. They all exhibit similar characteristics. They bring
themselves into the work they do, they make contact and don't give
the impression that they are just doing their job. Some of the
people here act as if they were afraid to show themselves in nearly
every situation. Those are the ones who speak little, make minimal
eye contact, seem to look right through you or just past you when
they speak at you. These are the ones who take a message that you
want some Excedrin for the headache you've got raging and thirty
minutes later the nurse still hasn't arrived (the CENA 'forgot to
deliver the message).That's when it gets aggravating being here, not
able to do for myself what I have grown used to doing.
There are just
enough events that impact me that are influenced by factors beyond my
control, that can be really aggravating . It doesn't matter what I
want or need, or even if I ask nicely or if I am told that the
person will convey my my wishes or conduct the task needed in just a
few minutes – if they are not fully here and make the commitment to
follow through, I end up making excuses for them, accepting what ever
reason they may give for not doing the task. Accepting mechanical
apologies and being continually greathearted about continual
non-accomplishment on the part of others wears at me. Its hard not to
view such acts from a personal basis and begin viewing the whole
thing as an affront.
It was delightful
last night to see someone take the initiative on their own to make
the contact with me because she really wanted to do so. I felt
worthwhile and appreciated. These days, and around here this is a big
deal.
This helps dealing
with the institutionalized, dehumanizing conditions that seem to be
built into places like this.
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