7 September 2013
Saturday
7:30 AM
Ugh!
I woke up this
morning with a sinus headache – just like yesterday morning. Just
as most mornings this year. After a few weeks of me calling for
Excedrin and a Claritin, the medical team thought maybe I had a sinus
infection. They called for an X-ray from the portable lab. The
machine was called in at six in the evening – very impressive. The
results were determined but I was never informed. After the
Physician's Assistant coming to my bedside and discussing with me my
history with sinus headaches, my allergy history, and a few gentle
jabs at discounting of my ideas based on my experience. Then,
somewhat arrogantly, deferring to his education as the basis for his
conclusions (which contained a whiff of medical school snobbery
stacked up against my mere experiential understanding), the X-ray was
recommended (as if I were actually going to buy this myself).
So when the
results come back the next day - mind you, this is fancy new digital
production, no developing films and courier carrying films to a
radiologist, this is downloaded once the portable machine gets back
downstairs to the truck, digitally processed then electronically
zipped to a waiting radiologist just waiting on second shift
scheduled hours to peek at the electronic version of the inside of
the empty places in my forehead. After all of that production it must
have been embarrassing to get the results.
Of course, the
results weren't given to me, I am just the bearer of symptoms. I had
to ask the nurse what the results were a few days later. “Oh, there
was no infection.” Isn't that cute. All of this buildup, the use of
new equipment, 21st century technology, the all hours of
the day kind of production, I suppose that the results of all this
technological display was somewhat of a downer. I am somewhat
disappointed by the willingness to practice mute silence of the
results and the sharing of said results amongst only a certain
audience, which did not include me was just beyond comprehensible.
So I am assured
that my headaches are not the result of something dire. They are just
headaches. Whew! That makes the almost daily forehead pain and when
it creeps down into the bridge of my nose area and up into the top of
my head and around to the temples not quite so worrying. It does,
however, nothing to diminish the pain with which I deal regularly.
Oh well, I suppose
that is what modern medicine is like these days. I wouldn't know,
really, for in this facility I was not allowed to determine who to
work with for my medical health like I always did when I was in
charge of my life, before facility living. Somehow, since I have come
to live in these care facilities, that old fashioned idea has been
tossed out. I am assigned the doctor with whom I am expected to look
to for my health care.
I have lost a lot
of things beyond the required sale of my house, dissemination of my
savings, the investments I had set aside for my retirement, all of
the art I had collected, the photographs, the numerous interesting
tchotchkes I had collected – so
much that I had developed to look back on and remember moments of my
life. All gone. Too many people inserting themselves into my life and
acting like their influence was something I should be thrilled to
have mucking about in my life. Or that I was some kind of ingrate for
whom they have done what they have. Sounds like some sort of terrible
twist imposed by a hidden control fiend malevolently bent on
disrupting my life and depriving me of anything I knew of from my
past.
So
now its nearly ten in the morning, breakfast is completed, the
medicine has been ingested, the Copaxone injected and my headache
continues unabated.
Oh
well …
No comments:
Post a Comment