6 August 2013
Tuesday
Afternoon
sometime
Another day here
in the facility. I find it amazing how sometimes just the little
things can make the biggest changes, must be a sign that I am slowly
becoming acclimated to living life under these circumstances. There
has been yet another time when a staff member has still determined
what I can do according to everyone else's abilities. I was
encouraged - badgered more likely to get out of bed and into the
wheelchair for some change of pace. I indicated that due to the
wheelchair being so cramped ( I don't have an adjustable back nor are
the leg supports adjustable, so my legs are in one bent position) I
can only stand being in the wheelchair for wabout three hors before I
begin to get so pain ridden that I can no longer stand to be in the
chair.
She told me that
since it was near ten in the morning she would make sure to help get
me to bed before her shift was done at two. I indicated that me usual
time limit was closer to one. Okay.
I got up into the
wheelchair and made my usual rounds throughout the building. As the
time grew closer to one o'clock I made my way to the third floor
where my room is. As per usual every CENA on that floor went about
their business able to look right past me as if I were invisible.
This went on for nearly an hour as I sat outside my room trying to
become obvious. Finally the morning's CENA stopped by and thought I
was readyto bargain with her. She asked very nicely if she could go
take her break now and then put me in my bed when she got back in
fifteen minutes. I could tell that she had her heart set on
collecting her break, it did not mater how much pain I was in.
finally I told her to go I would probably fall asleep in my chair.
I was awakened by
her rubbing my shoulders upon her return. By now I was so painful and
tired I could not use the slide board to ease myself into bed from
the chair, I had to be lifted with the easy stand.
Many people don't
realize all of the effects that go along with MS. Not only can I not
stand or walk, I have lost the control of most of the muscles from my
sternum down. I can't do a sit up, I have no psoas control, no
adductors, no obliques. I can be sat up in beed but I require my
hands to stabilize me. I also become very tired if I push myself too
much. It has taken a while to learn my new limits. It only takes once
or twice to realize that while I am awake nd functioning in the
wheelchair, once I have reached my limit, anything after that means
lots of nap time when I do return to bed.this means when I say I need
to plan on being out of the chair sand in bed by three hours, that
does not mean try to get me to agree to even more time when you want
to take your break.
Once I was back in
bed I slept for the rest of the day, the whole of the night and most
of the next day. I was very tired and there was not much I could do
to wake up. There are some times that I become very tired and it most
often follows too much physical activity.
There are times
when I grow highly insulted being treated just like everyone else
because I live in the same facility and its easier to make upon
minimal set of rules for everyone.
As a result of my
sleeping the next day, I was allowed to sleep right through my
scheduled shower the next day. Apparently it must be alright to let
residents skip a shower once in a while, no need to wake them and
ask them, let 'em live in their own filth, won't bother anyone else.
Thats the part I
was worried about, being reduced to the lowest common denominator.
Being warehoused in the best way possible, to dehumanize everyone to
the least amount of humanity available.
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